Preparing For An Expected Death?

End-of-life Care

When a loved one has been placed on end-of-life care and they are at home, in a residential home, care home or in the hospital, this can be a very difficult time for all the family.

The main objective is to make your loved one as comfortable as possible and give all the family the opportunity to spend as much time as they can with their loved one. This can be offering care and support to them by being present and holding their hand, providing comforting words, and making sure they know how much they are loved. This time is very precious and important to everyone involved.

Planning Ahead

Your loved one may have spoken with you prior to their illness and shared their thoughts and wishes with regards to the certain type of funeral they would like – such as burial or cremation, the location for the funeral, music, or special requests for floral tributes or donations. They may have made notes with reference to these wishes or even included them in their last will and testament.

If your loved one hasn’t made any arrangements or expressed any wishes for their funeral service, when a loved one is placed on end-of-life care or becoming frail, then it is a good idea for families to approach a funeral director and begin to think about the options available. This can be done at one of our funeral homes or in the comfort of your own home.

You will be asked if your loved one’s wishes are for cremation or a burial service. Once established, the funeral director can help and support. They will chat with you about preferences and ideas and then explain and offer all the different types of services available to include costings and options for payment. This can be really helpful, because approaching a funeral director after losing a loved one can be emotionally draining and upsetting.

Pre-Paid Funeral Plans

Many people now have pre-paid funeral plans in place, to help ease the stress and upset following their passing. This helps the family to make sure they carry out the wishes just as their loved one had planned.

Taking out a pre-paid funeral plan is a very thoughtful decision for everyone involved. This allows for everyone to be in control of their own choices and wishes for their funeral service. The cost of the funeral director’s fees and other services are all covered within the plan.

Following the plan holder’s passing, the funeral plan needs to be handed to the nominated funeral director and they will do the rest. They may have left plans and instructions in their will that a funeral plan is in place and who the funeral directors are. It is important to share this information with a residential home or care home, if the plan holder is residing there at the time of their passing.

When a loved one has moved into a residential home or care home, the manager or senior member of staff will complete a care plan. This will cover questions about future planning, if there is a pre-paid funeral plan in place or if they have a nominated funeral director they wish to use. They will cover questions about specific wishes to be considered and carried out in the event of a sudden illness when they aren’t able to discuss their wishes.

Support For Funeral Costs

If there isn’t a pre-paid funeral plan in place and there is only a limited amount of funds towards the payment of the funeral, then the funeral director can help with information and contact numbers for the Department of Works and Pensions. They can discuss options available because you may be able to apply for financial support, towards the costs of arranging the funeral. This is means-tested and applies to the person’s financial situation who is responsible for making the arrangements and paying for the funeral expenses. We are also able to offer Funeral SAFE finance to help with the costs.

It is always best to speak with a funeral director about financial options available to help with the costs for the funeral service. When a person has died, all the benefits and any financial support that they were claiming will cease. These benefits are not able to be taken into consideration towards any financial support to help for the payment of their funeral.

Preparations For Making Your Loved One Comfortable

It is important to ask if they have any special wishes as to how you can help make them feel more comfortable. Having the room at a pleasant heat with a relaxing, peaceful atmosphere, for example. Maybe having the curtains closed and the lights down low.

Do they wish to have any family members to call in and see them? If they have a beloved pet, they may wish for them to lie on the bed and bring them comfort, or they may want soft music to be played. Reading to them or just having someone sitting with them quietly will offer so much reassurance and bring them comfort. Gently wiping their hands and face with a warm flannel can also be very reassuring and supportive.

End-of-life Care at Home

When a loved one is at home, the family should have support and care from their general practitioner along with palliative nurses or district nurses. These nurses will be able to answer any questions or any concerns that you may have with regards to the care and support available.

They will supply medication to make your loved one comfortable when required; this must be administered by a trained professional. They will also share helpful telephone numbers so you can contact them at any time of the day or night. When your loved one shows signs of increased pain or restlessness and requires more support, it is best to call them.

They will call in, assess their needs and advise you of any changes such as when they need to administer additional medication. Every step should be explained to you and how to deal with them. Always reach out and ask questions so you feel supported at this difficult and emotional time too.

Once a Loved One Has Passed Away at Home

When a loved one passes away at home, if the palliative nurses or district nurses are not in attendance at the time of death, please call them as soon as possible and they will attend and complete the verification of death. This is a certificate that needs to be completed and taken to your loved one’s GP surgery – it may also be emailed directly from the person verifying the death. This will then enable the GP to begin the process of the paperwork that is required when a loved one dies.

The nurses may help to bathe and dress your loved one. If you feel strong enough, you could perform this with the support of the nurses – always ask for their support. If you are feeling overwhelmed and upset, they can do this on your behalf. They can also advise when it is the best time to contact the funeral director. Please make sure that any paperwork containing important wishes or information is readily available to give to the nurses. They can call the funeral directors on your behalf and share the information with them.

Should any family members wish to attend and spend time with your loved one, please call them to do so. When the funeral directors are contacted, share this information that the family are going to be attending at some point. The funeral director can then make allowances before they send out the dedication gentleman, to transfer your loved one into the care of one of our funeral homes.

End-of-life Care in a Residential Home or Care Home

If your loved one is residing in a residential home or care home, all the support for the end-of-life care will be looked after by the staff and nurses there. The general practitioner who looks after all the residents in that home will call in to see your loved one and help with any medication they may need.

All residential and care homes should have the next of kin details on file. Always make sure these are kept up to date. The staff and qualified nurses will monitor your loved one and will keep you informed when they begin to show signs of becoming weak and frail. If your loved one shows any of these signs and you are not present at that time, the care home staff or manager will call the next of kin and explain the circumstances. You will be invited to go into the home and spend as much time as possible with your loved one. Always ask the home manager what their procedures are and how they can support the family as well as your loved one.

The staff will explain the options available whilst you are staying there with your loved one. If you need to eat, take a rest or have a shower and the care home doesn’t offer these facilities, the staff will sit with your loved one whilst you go home for a while.

End-of-life care can have different timescales as to when a loved one remains comfortable or begins to deteriorate. Keep in contact with the staff and ask them if they can update you on your loved one’s progress and how you can help support too. Being able to participate in the care for your loved one can be of a great comfort to you at this difficult time.

If you have any plans in place with a nominated funeral director, share this with the care staff. This will be very helpful following the passing of your loved one, as they will contact the funeral directors on your behalf. Family members can feel very overwhelmed and emotional and not ready to speak with a funeral director at that time. The care staff will be able to support you and the family.

Once a Loved One Has Passed Away in a Residential Home or Care Home

When a loved one passes away in a residential home or care home, if you are present, the care staff will support you and your family by giving you the chance to spend time with your loved one. Should any family members wish to attend and spend time with them too, please call them to do so. The care staff will allow you as much time as you all need.

If no one was present at the time of your loved one’s passing, as soon as the staff are aware death has occurred, they will contact the next of kin named on the care plan. They will ask if any family members wish to attend and have private time with your loved one. The staff can help and assist you to bathe and dress your loved one. Or they will carry out this procedure on your behalf if you are feeling overwhelmed and upset.

Whether family members are in attendance or not following the passing of your loved one, with the family’s permission the care staff will call the nominated funeral directors on the family’s behalf. They will arrange for the funeral directors to send out their dedicated team of gentlemen and transfer your loved one into the care of their chosen funeral home, when the death has been verified and the family are ready or someone is acting on their behalf.

End-of-life Care in a Hospital

When a loved one is an inpatient in a local hospital, the nursing staff and doctors closely monitor their care. Should their health begin to deteriorate and the doctors feel that they can’t offer any more medical support, they will plan to meet with the family to discuss the options available.

They will explain that they need to ask certain questions to have procedures in place. They will explain that certain medication will be administered to make them comfortable, and a document must be signed so that no resuscitation will take place, following the passing of your loved one. It will be explained that eating and drinking will be slowly reduced, and that this is a normal procedure as the body begins closing down.

Once the doctor has spoken with the family, your loved one will be moved into a side ward for privacy and comfort. The nursing staff will make sure that your family is supported and able to spend as much time as possible with them. It is best to arrange a rota, so all family members get an opportunity to be present and it also allows everyone to take a break and get much-needed rest.

Your loved one will be offered medication to make them comfortable; you can always approach the nursing staff and ask for advice and support. Many families feel that staying with a loved one can become very overwhelming and feel that they can’t stay. This is a natural feeling as everyone deals with the thought of losing a loved one differently.

Many family members stay and offer support by sitting and making them know they aren’t alone, just by holding their hand and offering words of comfort and peace. If your loved one deteriorates quickly and no family are present at the time, the nursing staff will contact the next of kin and explain that they are able to visit and stay with them for as long as they need to.

Once a Loved One Has Passed Away in a Local Hospital

Following the passing of a loved one in a hospital, the nursing staff will come into the room and take off any drips or medical devices that are in place. They will allow all family members to stay and spend time there. Other family members can be contacted to visit if they want to.

Once everyone has attended, your loved one will be moved to the mortuary area. Family can visit the hospital chapel of rest by appointment before your loved one is collected and transferred to the funeral directors.

The details for your loved one are passed over to the bereavement team. The bereavement team will contact the doctor or the consultant who has been caring for your loved one, whilst they have been in the hospital. They will help, support and guide the family with the next steps for registering the death.

You don’t need to wait until the registration process has taken place to speak with your funeral director to begin arranging the funeral service. You can do this whenever you feel ready. If you share the information of your chosen funeral director with the registrar, this is very helpful for the registrar. When you attend to register the death of your loved one, the registrar will issue you with a certificate for burial or cremation or they will email it directly to the funeral director.

Until the funeral director receives this certificate, your loved can’t be transferred into the care of a funeral director because this form acts as a release certificate for the hospital. You can also purchase death certificates that will allow you to close down the estate of your loved one.

Once you contact the funeral director, they will offer you an appointment, either at one of our funeral homes or in the comfort of your own home. During the appointment, our staff will offer your family information, guidance and support in helping you make the right choices for your loved one’s funeral service.